For Men Only
Open letter to all of our sons

Beginning ideas in development.  These are unedited, unorganized thoughts at this time. check back later.  

   A woman of quality will not surrender to a weak man.  If he doesn't enjoy his life as it is, why would she want to
join him?  A woman's shaming doesn't stick if he doesn't need anything from her.  
Be fine as a man whether she approves or not.  
Empathic is the opposite of needy.  You can't resonate with what she feels when you're trying to get something
from her.  If/when her ''daddy-abandonment'' emotional state is activated, she might project  her resentment
against her current man.
    A man is turned on by attractive body parts and curves.  A woman is turned on by how he leads her to feel.  
A deepening relationship will inevitable take each person to the level of impairment.  Expect it.
Recognize where she is holding herself back and allow it rather than plowing over towards what you want.
Even the best partner choice can be destroyed by the man’s poor, undeveloped relationship skills and bad
programming from our parent’s less than satisfactory marriages.  
The response can only be ‘’you’re yummy”, or “you’re holding back”.  
She gives us her list of what needs to be done to make her happy and we do it, and then she says, “That’s not it.  
I’m still not happy”.  We feel helpless when we can’t give her what she wants, frustrated like a car or tool that
defies our attempts to fix it.   Her unhappiness feels like our failure, and we feel ashamed, angry and resentful.  
She can identify mistakes we men made and blame us for her lifetime’s unhappiness.      What she says she
wants in not what she’s attracted to.  
What about taking the intensity of whatever she’s feeling and transform it into her feeling connected, turn-on?   
How sexy is feeling an intense emotion and connection  would you really want sex without it?   The only ‘’bad’’
feeling is no feeling at all.   Even sorrow has color, a richness, lives in time, an agonizing wish for the joy that’s
gone.  Depression is flat, dead, colorless, empty, timeless.   
Energy and matter can not be created or destroyed, only transformed.  We were born with our potential manhood
that develops as we grow.  No woman brought it to us, and no woman can take it away.  
Any woman who gives birth, or would want to, would be in touch with the grief from thousands of generations of
women who have lost children who grow up, leave and die.  They would all feel the sorrow whether they are in
touch with it or not.  Here’s one among many unlimited [when timely] opportunity to connect profoundly with the
feminine experience.  
    In thinking about how we can improve our adult relationships with women, it seems necessary to address our
own problems with mood management.  I realized how many of us look to our women to change our mood,
expecting our women to fill in the old gaps in our manhood which they cannot do.   They’re somehow obliged to
reassure us that we’re worthwhile, manly, desirable, masculine, but who says it’s their job?   Why do we get
addicted  to their praise/approval/validation?  We would soon be helpless when she becomes critical, or tests her
man to be sure she can trust him [and they always test us and keep the score forever].  Why would any worthy
man trust his manhood to a woman whose emotions change like the weather?  If we depend on our women to
prop up our masculinity, then what has our masculinity so weak in the first place?   Wasn’t it mom’s job to give her
boys that wonderful assurance, approval and love that was unconditional?   Your girlfriend is not your mom.    
Moms are supposed to be there with the chicken soup.